Crime Is Down Already

 

Day One

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George Santos, the less-than-fabulous serial fabulist, begins his seven-year prison stretch today for identity theft, wire fraud, money laundering, and theft of public funds.

The openly gay Santos couldn't tell the truth if his Ferragamo loafers depended on it.

The Advocate reports that the former congressman "has spent the week descending into a digital rampage, accusing prosecutors of conspiracy, threatening federal officials and journalists, and invoking far-right grievances against former President Barack Obama and the justice system, while praising President Donald Trump."

Santos has been holding out hope for a pardon from Trump. After all, they're so alike. Both are self-obsessed New York Republicans, both have used political power to enrich themselves, and both lie at a pace that breaks the land speed record.

In a final twist, Santos says he hopes to teach civics in prison. That would be like Jeffrey Dahmer teaching culinary arts.

Santos Sentenced

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The only human being who lies more than Donald Trump was sentenced today to over seven years in prison. George Santos, who pleaded guilty last summer to federal wire fraud and aggravated identity theft, will begin his stretch in July.

Gucci, Ferragamo, and Burberry may be sorry to see him go, but the rest of us are not.

The openly gay New York Republican served less than a year in Congress, becoming just the sixth member of the House in history to be booted by his colleagues. He got to Washington thanks to a resume that was more fictitious than the Hitler Diaries.

I'll always remember the images of Santos chumming in the House chamber with Lauren Boebert, Matt Gaetz, and Marjorie Taylor Greene, the Four Hosers of the Apocalypse.

His defense lawyer had asked for a sentence of two years, saying Santos had been bullied his whole life. Believing "that the world would not accept him for who he was," Santos created an alternate persona. His lawyer also claimed, "Deep down, he is warm, kind, caring, and thoughtful."

So deep down. So, so, so deep.

This Week's Quote

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Trump appointed gay Log Cabin lapdog Ric Grenell as interim head of the Kennedy Center. Grenell has no background in management or the arts, and LGBTQ people despise him. He's George Santos only even more smarmy and corrupt.

Paul Rudnick

Source: X

This Week's Quote

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Another tiny ray of sunshine: Democrat Tom Suozzi won convicted felon George Santos's former congressional seat, causing George to throw a fit and shoplift five more Hermes sweaters and stress-eat an entire Little Debbie display at Stop and Shop.

Paul Rudnick

Source: X

Santos Sings a New Tune

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For the first time in memory, George Santos told the truth.

After pleading guilty yesterday to aggravated identity theft and wire fraud charges, the gay former Republican congressman from New York acknowledged to reporters that he had "allowed ambition to cloud my judgment."

That's also a vast understatement, since Santos appears to have broken practically every campaign law, on top of creating an entirely fictional biography.

When he gets to prison, he'll have ample time to review his efforts to achieve grandiosity. Santos could've saved New York and the nation a lot of pain and expense if, instead of entering politics, he'd simply claimed to be the youngest daughter of Tsar Nicholas ll.

Keeping Up WIth George

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Though he was expelled from Congress last December, George Santos had declared his intention to run again, this time in a different New York district and as an independent rather than a Republican.

But he announced this week on X that he's bowing out of the race. The openly gay Santos explained that he doesn't "want to split the ticket and be responsible for handing the house to Dems."

There's that selflessness for which the serial liar is so noted. He's making this decision for the good of the conservative movement, and certainly not because his campaign hasn't raised one red cent.

Santos signed off his post, "It’s only goodbye for now, I’ll be back."

He may be Brazilian, but I read that and heard an Austrian accent.

The Proverbial Bad Penny

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I turned on the TV this evening to watch President Biden deliver the State of the Union. Within seconds, as assorted members of Congress waiting for Biden to arrive filled my screen, I spotted former Rep. George Santos.

"My God," I blurted at the TV. "How did he get past security?"

Well, it turns out that even though the openly gay and remarkably deplorable Republican was expelled by the House, he was still allowed to attend the speech. Which he did, because he's a publicity whore.

It took me a while to recover. In fact, I didn't regain my equilibrium until after Biden had finished, when I was listening to political pundits on the "PBS NewsHour." It dawned on me that two of the three talking heads were openly gay.

Apparently, in my clearly tired brain, two esteemed political analysts cancel out one political toadstool.

Please Be Certain

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Democrat Tom Suozzi won yesterday's special election in New York to succeed Republican Rep. George Santos, the serial fabulist and accused crook who was expelled from Congress late last year. The only thing Santos told the truth about was being gay.

Maybe I'm a tad paranoid, but are New York officials sure Suozzi is who he says he is, and not Santos in Democratic drag?

Musing

Image by Clker-Free-Vector-Images from Pixabay

I spent a few moments today wondering what George Santos will do now that Congress has expelled him.

But really, what's left to do if you've already walked on the moon, invented pop art and won the Olympic pole vault?

Swan Song

 

He's Gone

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The House of Representatives voted to expel George Santos today. Sadly, the queer community can't do the same.

The Magic Number

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On Thursday the House Ethics Committee released a blistering report on the conduct of Rep. George Santos. On Friday the House Ethics chairman introduced a resolution to expel the New Yorker from Congress.

On the theory that things happen in threes, I thought we'd hear today that Santos has been banned from every tea dance from Ogunquit to Key West.

He Invented Being Gay