More Than a Dummkopf

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Jens Spahn, a bigwig German conservative politician, has long opposed surrogacy, which is banned in his country.

Spahn said in 2015 that "as a gay man and a Christian, I find it personally very hard to warm to the idea of a rented womb."

Recently he got over his misgivings, as he and his husband not only rented a womb but furnished it.

The womb belonged to an American, an option European gay couples exercise to get around restrictions in their countries. (So expect Donald Trump to slap a tariff on American uteruses.)

Baby Georg was born to Spahn and his husband. The latter posted an Instagram picture of the couple, with Spahn pushing a stroller, captioned "We Are Family." Spahn told a German publication, "Georg is our greatest joy. This feeling is almost impossible to put into words."

Fellow conservatives had no trouble putting criticism into words, and his political opponents sang out the word "hypocrisy." The strudel hit the fan, and on Saturday Spahn resigned.

In his resignation letter, Spahn wrote, "Over the ‌past few days, I have come to realize that my personal happiness — starting a family with my husband and becoming a father — is incompatible with my ​political office."

I speak some German, but I regret that I don't know how to say, "Dude, duh."

Lindsey, You Hardly Knew Ye

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As a rule, I don't assign gayness to somebody unless that person has confirmed it.

Except in the case of Lindsey Graham. I believe the Republican senator, who died suddenly last night at 71, was gayer than Liberace's candelabra.

Graham consistently denied being gay, and he did his home state of South Carolina proud by voting against queer rights early and often. After the Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage in 2015, Graham announced,"I am a proud defender of traditional marriage."

While thinking to himself, "As God is my witness, I shall find my Rhett Butler."

But the hypocrisy of "Lady G" in this arena actually bothers me less than what came later. While briefly chasing the 2016 Republican presidential nomination, Graham called Donald Trump a "race-baiting, xenophobic, religious bigot" and "unfit for office."

Turned out he was more right than he knew. But after Trump won the presidency, Graham performed a transformation that any drag queen would envy. He became Trump's adviser, golfing buddy, and robust defender. 

On the night of Jan. 6, 2021, after the attack on the Capitol, Graham announced dramatically on the Senate floor, "Count me out. Enough is enough." But that was the adrenaline talking, and the senator soon returned to Yorkshire Terrier status.

Trump has ordered that flags be flown at half-staff this week. He said Graham "was like a member of the family to me."

If that's not the sorriest epitaph I've ever heard, I'm a palmetto tree.

Only Way I Can Explain It

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Lots of folks have an opinion on the rape allegation against Maine Democratic Senate candidate Graham Platner. Even former House Speaker Kevin McCarthy.

"The one thing I know about Republicans: When we had a very bad candidate and found out, we didn’t vote for that person. We walked away," McCarthy said on Fox News.

Sad. Obviously ol' Kev has early Alzheimer's.

Pastor Odious

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Allow me to introduce you to Jackson Lahmeyer, megachurch minister.

The founder of Pastors for Trump, Lahmeyer has ended his bid for a congressional seat from Oklahoma, thanks to a report in the Daily Mail tabloid. It seems the married Lahmeyer exchanged thousands of racy text messages with a former beauty queen who worked on his campaign.

In one message, the father of five says he "enjoyed those lips." In another, Lahmeyer tells her of going to a strip club after leaving Mar-A-Lago.

Just another fundamentalist minister who moonlights as a hypocrite?

Not quite. Lahmeyer previously claimed that "witchcraft-practicing lesbians" started Black Lives Matter. And he posted that the "Antichrist will be a HOMOSEXUAL of Jewish descent."

Lahmeyer's sexting scandal won't land the two-faced HETEROSEXUAL bigot in nearly enough trouble for my taste. If you ask me, the witchcraft-practicing lesbians have shirked their duty by not coming up with a spell for these occasions.

This Week's Quote

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After discovering that her husband visits fetish sites and dresses up as a busty woman, Kristi Noem has asked for "privacy, and thoughts and prayers." I'm sending prayers and tube tops.

Paul Rudnick

Source:  X

The Warrior's Achilles' Heel

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It feels like this was inevitable.

Oklahoma State Superintendent of Public Instruction Ryan Walters is in hot water. Two members of the state's education board accuse him of having porn on a screen during a meeting.

Why do I bring this to your attention? Hang on.

Walters has been described as Oklahoma's "top culture warrior." A MAGA Christian nationalist, Walters last year directed all public schools to incorporate the Bible and Ten Commandments into their curriculum. He denies the very existence of transgender and non-binary people, and when non-binary student Nex Benedict died after a fight at school, advocates accused Walters of creating a dangerously intolerant atmosphere.

Walters was on Donald Trump's shortlist to be education secretary. Last fall, he wanted to require schools to show students a video of him praying for Trump.

In short, Walters is such an extreme Christian he'd even piss off Jesus.

Walters often railed against "sexual material," and now it's gone and turned up in his office. There can't be a single gay person anywhere in the country who's surprised, since we're so accustomed to this sort of screaming hypocrisy on the part of religious zealots.

I guess I'm a little surprised that it was naked women on his screen and not naked men, given his vocal anti-queerness. But Walters isn't a closet case. He's just an asshole.

The King Thing

Image:  Wikipedia

A few days ago I treated you to the story of Sure Foundation Baptist Church in Indianapolis, whose members are calling for gay people to commit suicide or be executed by the government.

No doubt they preach the love of Jesus in between.

Something has been niggling at me about these Westboro-wannabes, and I realized what around 10:30 last night when my historical gaydar finally kicked in.

While researching this delightful bunch, I'd read that they base their beliefs entirely on the King James Bible, which is called that because it was King James I of England who commissioned this translation.

Most recent historians believe King James was either gay or bisexual. 

Please, please, please, may I be the one to tell them?

Fourth of July 2025

 

Face It

 

Idiomatic

Image by Gordon Johnson from Pixabay

Labeling the Los Angeles protesters "insurrectionists" when you're the person who incited a mob to storm the U.S. Capitol? If that isn't the POTUS calling the kettle black.

Trying to Figure It Out

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Five Republican state senators in Minnesota sponsored a bill earlier this week labeling Trump Derangement Syndrome as a mental illness. Hours later, one of the five was arrested for soliciting a minor.

Sen. Justin Eichorn, a 40-year-old married man with four children, thought he was meeting a 17-year-old girl for paid sex, but it was the cops who awaited him.

Help me here. I'm really trying to understand.

Do you think Eichorn's snarky attempt to own the libs gave him a hard-on that wouldn't quit? Did it make him feel invincible? Superior? Above the law? Like a frat boy again?

Or does he know he has issues and he backed the bill so he could deflect by accusing others of having issues? 

Or is he just another hypocrite in the long line of family-values types who have the moral fiber of a jelly bean?

Plain Perplexed

 

Jumbo Depreciation

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Today is National Elephant Appreciation Day, so let's think of all the things we can appreciate about that political party whose symbol is an elephant.

Yup, I got nothing. Quite the challenge these days.

If Donald Trump and JD Vance weren't enough to swear off political pachyderms, now we have Mark Robinson, the Black Republican candidate for governor of North Carolina, whom Trump called "better than Martin Luther King."

Robinson, currently the Tar Heel State's lieutenant governor, was already known as extreme, having described gay and transgender people as "filth" in a church speech, and posting on Facebook that abortion was about "killing the child because you weren’t responsible enough to keep your skirt down." (Turned out he wasn't responsible enough to keep his dick in, having paid for an abortion years earlier.)

But now blockbuster reporting from CNN reveals that Robinson isn't just a run-of-the-mill conservative hypocrite. The dude is demented.

Before becoming a politician, Robinson frequented a porn site called Nude Africa. On its message boards, he referred to himself as a "black NAZI" and said he preferred Hitler to then-President Barack Obama. He expressed support for bringing back slavery. He denounced King as "worse than a maggot." My favorite bit is that the transphobe said he enjoyed transgender pornography.

Queer people are as familiar with this particular type of hypocrisy as we are with Cher lyrics.

Robinson denies everything, and refuses to leave the race. CNN points out he's joining a list of fatally flawed candidates Trump endorsed after they showered him with praise.

Being led by a narcissist is certainly part of the Republican Party's problem. I believe another is that the GOP gets so giddy at the prospect of running minority candidates that it leaves off proper vetting.

You're African-American? Come on down! You're a homo? George Santos, you're our gay guy!

This Week's Quote

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Mike Johnson said last night the GOP is the "law and order team."

"We always have been and we always will be the advocates for the rule of law." That same party just made a convicted felon its nominee.

Kyle Griffin

Source: X

Under the Weather

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With the 2024 Iowa Republican caucuses two days away, pundits tell us the pressing questions are how big Donald Trump's victory will be and whether Ron DeSantis or Nikki Haley will come in a clear second.

Pish tush. My pressing question is much different.

The Hawkeye State is experiencing fierce snowstorms, and on Monday evening, when GOP Iowans are supposed to caucus, wind chill could make it -45 degrees Fahrenheit. The dangerous, record-breaking cold could easily depress turnout. It could even pick off a few diehards waiting outside to be admitted to their local caucus site.

Which brings me to my question:  What is God saying with this horrifying weather?

Don't scoff. How many times have we queer folk been told that murderous weather events are due to the Almighty's anger over our existence? How often have conservative Christian preachers turned into meteorologists in order to explain a hurricane or flood as divine fury at us and/or our fellow travelers?

With blizzards encasing Iowa and temperatures plunging precisely when thousands of Republicans are due to anoint a candidate, I haven't heard anyone declare this weather is God's judgement. Funny that.

I'll pick up the slack. By making it so hard to caucus, God is telling Iowans they shouldn't vote for any of those putzes. And especially not for the tangerine-hued dolt most intend to vote for. This weather is a clear, unequivocal message that God opposes Donald Trump. And not just because of that "Two Corinthians" business.

But you and I know that not a single conservative Christian Iowan will interpret the atmospheric conditions that way. Instead these Republicans will semi-joke to each other that with such frigid temperatures God is really testing their faith. How convenient.

Assigning meaning to dramatic weather is about bolstering a narrative. It's a snow job.

This Week's Quote

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Clarice Schillinger, leader of the PA Moms For Liberty, has been charged with drunkenly punching teenagers at her daughter's birthday party, after supplying these underage guests with liquor. Clarice explains, "I only assaulted those kids to stop them from reading."

Paul Rudnick

Source: X

Next-Level Hypocrisy

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I swear that everything you're about to read came from The Washington Post. I made up none of it. And if I had, you wouldn't have believed me.

The story takes place in—oh God—Florida.

Christian Ziegler, chairman of the state's Republican Party, is under investigation by the Sarasota police for rape. His accuser had agreed to have a threesome with Ziegler and his wife, Bridget. When Bridget couldn't make it, the woman canceled, texting Ziegler, "Sorry I was mostly in for her."

Not a few lesbians can relate. But I digress.

According to the woman, Ziegler showed up at her apartment and raped her. Ziegler claimed they had consensual sex. And that he video-recorded it.

The search warrant affidavit includes this gem:  Bridget Ziegler "confirmed having a sexual encounter with the victim and Christian over a year ago and that it only happened one time." So this was to be round two of a ménage à trois.

The folks getting frisky in Florida, the Zieglers, have three little kids. More to the point, Christian Ziegler leads the party that has recently forced Florida down the conservative Christian purity path.

And Bridget? Fasten your seatbelts.

Bridget Ziegler is a co-founder of Moms for Liberty. Bridget Ziegler advised the legislators who gave Florida the Don't Say Gay Law. Bridget Ziegler has fought to rid schools around the nation of LGBTQ books and books that speak of racial discrimination.

Bridget Ziegler makes Anita Bryant look like Janis Joplin.

The Post notes,"The Zieglers were seen as a rising power couple in the state, second only to Ron and Casey DeSantis in their visibility and influence in state politics."

Now they're seen as cats on a hot tin roof.

Christian Ziegler has told party members that he isn't resigning. He claimed he and Bridget are being "targeted," which is "most likely due to my wife and I being such loud political voices."

Not to mention complete assholes.

University of Central Florida political science professor Aubrey Jewett commented that the "stunning level of hypocrisy" has generated huge interest and criticism.

"Even if the rape sexual assault charge ends up either not true or unable to be proven, I think for a lot of Republicans, they would just be uncomfortable with the fact that you have people who are pushing a social conservative agenda saying there’s too much sex in society, particularly LGBTQ sex, but yet have engaged in, well, a threesome."

Well. Yes. That.