Under the Weather

Image by Clker-Free-Vector-Images from Pixabay

With the 2024 Iowa Republican caucuses two days away, pundits tell us the pressing questions are how big Donald Trump's victory will be and whether Ron DeSantis or Nikki Haley will come in a clear second.

Pish tush. My pressing question is much different.

The Hawkeye State is experiencing fierce snowstorms, and on Monday evening, when GOP Iowans are supposed to caucus, wind chill could make it -45 degrees Fahrenheit. The dangerous, record-breaking cold could easily depress turnout. It could even pick off a few diehards waiting outside to be admitted to their local caucus site.

Which brings me to my question:  What is God saying with this horrifying weather?

Don't scoff. How many times have we queer folk been told that murderous weather events are due to the Almighty's anger over our existence? How often have conservative Christian preachers turned into meteorologists in order to explain a hurricane or flood as divine fury at us and/or our fellow travelers?

With blizzards encasing Iowa and temperatures plunging precisely when thousands of Republicans are due to anoint a candidate, I haven't heard anyone declare this weather is God's judgement. Funny that.

I'll pick up the slack. By making it so hard to caucus, God is telling Iowans they shouldn't vote for any of those putzes. And especially not for the tangerine-hued dolt most intend to vote for. This weather is a clear, unequivocal message that God opposes Donald Trump. And not just because of that "Two Corinthians" business.

But you and I know that not a single conservative Christian Iowan will interpret the atmospheric conditions that way. Instead these Republicans will semi-joke to each other that with such frigid temperatures God is really testing their faith. How convenient.

Assigning meaning to dramatic weather is about bolstering a narrative. It's a snow job.